The New Beguines: Customs and Practices
by Sister Kate
We are living a social experiment. We are very public to the world and unprotected, so we are protecting our energies in other subtle ways, like the no hugging rule. We are against hugging or any intimate personal contact with people outside our tribe. When we hug, intra-tribally, we hug heart-to-heart with the belief that hugging this way passes energy to one another, while hugging the sloppy way, the customary way, depletes both party’s energy.
Outsiders must not presume to warn or teach us without solicitation of their opinions and advice by us. It offends us. (Don’t let a stranger man, who knows nothing about us, wag his finger and tell you what you ‘should’ do. Nor stranger-woman, for that matter.)
We believe that women heal women with words and we call that ‘word medicine’. Some men can do it, too.
We do not receive visitors unscheduled.
Spiritual gowns and garb must be washed separately from other clothing.
Workspaces and living spaces must be ‘camera ready clean’ at all times.
We sage our homes frequently.
We encourage bad or disruptive news to go straight to the top as fast as possible in order for the enclave to have the best chances of dealing with the issue. (No surprise rule)
No words or signs of contempt are allowed; harmony within the tribe to be a priority.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and special acknowledgements happen at tribal gatherings on the full moon, and do not take the attention away from the work any other time.
We believe in opening gifts in private. If someone gives a gift that they want to be there, when the receiving party receives it, that must be done away from others. Gifts are received, acknowledged, and opened in private in our tribe (privacy boundaries dictated by receiver of the gift; ‘in private’ can mean with the giver, alone in a room, or with a few people and the gift-giver).
The Sisters always travel in two’s (two or more); that means they leave to run errands together, as well, in two’s.
Travel rules require that if the trip is being funded by the enclave, all time is in uniform and devoted to the business of the enclave; even play time requires being in habit, if the enclave is funding the trip.
Never text the elders the morning of departure. That is taken as a sign of bad planning or that one wasn’t listening. All plans are done ahead of time and the Sisterhood requires that all tribal members become good planners, for maximum peace and harmony among the people.
Tardiness that affects the group will get one de-listed from further travel.
No decorating the abbey or any Sister facility; that is someone’s job (facility-owner); watch ‘call the midwife’ as our décor follows their décor. Simple. Monastic. White walls. Little color. The plants and the medicine should be the center of every photo and photos of the Sisters should largely avoid faces.
The Sisters and Brothers of our enclave refuse to make an oath of devotion to any nation; we will stand to respect those who respect their flags, but we believe in one planet, one people, and pledging allegiance to a nation is against our spiritual beliefs.
We use titles to slow down our speech patterns, to remind us to engage our hearts and brains before speaking to our brethren. Brother Dwight, Sister Kate, the formality forces a pause which we believe allows us to kick in our respect meter, by engaging the brain and heart, before engaging the mouth.
The wimple is not mandatory, but women who go without them must wear very high-collared blouses or turtlenecks that cover as much neck skin as possible
Black is worn only for activism or at home on the farm; black on the farm is generally brightened with white blouses, skirts, something to make it not ‘all black’ except for black scrubs. Black scrubs and white veils are suitable at-home garb. Blue jean skirts, white blouses, also suitable for ‘at home’ and sometimes the blue and white are worn about town.
Formal wear is discouraged when attending farm-town civic meetings and events. Formal wear is for ceremony, for certain public events.
Harmony Rule: If things aren’t right, then they are wrong (the Larry Morse code). Conflict must be addressed as soon as possible. The order does allow for a three-day cooling off period after an incident when someone acts up or blows up over something. Resolution must be made within 3 days following the cooling off period, for a total of no more than six days from incident to discussion and resolution.
We discourage idle chatter; we discourage noisiness in the workplace. We aspire to create a quiet, meditative, healing workspace for all.
No headsets or earbuds are worn, ever, by the Sisters or the Brothers (on enclave property) as that is deemed an offense of disconnection from the tribe (in the privacy of one’ own bedroom, of course, it is allowed); it is not allowed anytime or anywhere else; nor is noisemaking of any kind allowed, whistling, carrying a blaring device around, not allowed.
No talking before 8 a.m. and after 9 p.m. No talking to someone you pass on the farm or in the operation who has their eyes down and head down. This means the person is thinking and does not wish to be interrupted.
The sisterhood values quiet and to that end, where less words can be used, use less words. We name our gowns so we can say ‘Wear the admiral tomorrow’ versus ‘Wear the gown that has blue and black panels and gold buttons and a standard collar’. Less words. Implement titles and names for things that allow for less words.
There is too much talking going on right now, and not enough listening, not enough quiet contemplation. Chatterers who can’t get their chattering under control are exited out of our prayerful, quiet, healing space quickly.
We believe that women are the quiet-keepers and should be able to silence a group of grown men or small children with a glance. This is our workspace, our farm, our holy place, and unless there is a feast or celebration happening, it is quiet here (in regard to our sister farms and anywhere our medicine is being made)
Brothers have a distinct role with the Sisterhood. They are to protect us. They are our political ears to the local ground hearing what people say about us and reporting back (politically, socially). They protect us. They tend our fires. They play an important role in our community and we will never want to be without them. They are not disrespected. We are simply focused on women empowerment and believe strongly that men will only benefit from this focus.
Because we believe that choices are empowering to women, we will, from time to time, choose to collaborate with men who share our values.